Hello there & welcome to another post about university from everyone’s favourite inexperienced guru: me! Today’s subject is a touchy one – it’s on how to make a long distance relationship work while one of you is at uni, or you’ve had to go to different unis, or whatever. The idea of leaving Johnny and not seeing him everyday was traumatising and I lay awake at night worrying about how awful it would be. And it is awful. But we make it work – and here’s how.
- Don’t underestimate the power of FaceTime: talking on the phone is one thing but being able to see the other person’s face and show them things (and maybe do sexy things if you’re into that – I’m personally not but each to their own) is invaluable. Johnny and I aim to FaceTime every night for at least half an hour, so we can hear about each other’s days. Now, throughout the day, I find myself experiencing funny things and thinking ‘I can’t wait to tell Johnny that later.’
- Don’t read too much into texts: Johnny & I both find that we have the tendency to assume the other one is annoyed over text. Usually, bluntness over text isn’t because we’re irritated – it’s because we’re busy – but when you’re apart it can feel that way. Try not to read too much into texts and wait until you can speak to the other person.
- Always have something to look forward to: make sure you know when you say goodbye, when you’ll be seeing each other again. The worst bouts of missing Johnny have come when I don’t know when I’ll see him again. Hysterical crying ensued. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
- Share the travel: Johnny visits me and I visit him in equal ways. We try and see each other every weekend so we travel to see each other on alternate ones. Sometimes this doesn’t work out and we go longer without seeing each other but we try to keep it pretty fair.
- Keep reminding the other person how much you care: drop them a text every now and then saying you love them, or send them a little present in the post. I once sent Johnny a cute card in the post which I think he really appreciated. Just do nice things for your S.O. Keep that romance alive.
- Remember it’s possible: 6 months of ‘long distance’ and we’re stronger than ever prove that this is completely possible. People will accuse you of ‘not getting the full uni experience’, but I’d rather not cop off with randoms at a club – I’d rather have someone who will watch Making A Murderer with me when I’m in my pjyamas.
So if you’re thinking of moving away from a boyfriend or girlfriend and you’re worried about doing the whole long distance thing, worry not! It is capable! You just both have to be willing. Consensual long distance love is key.