Johnny once said to me “Chloe, you apologise way too much”. I replied, “do I? Oh, sorry”. I’ve decided 2018 is the year I am going to graduate from being a timid little kitten who mewls apologies at every turn to a tigress who bosses her life and doesn’t give a shit about what other people think of her. I carry a lot of guilt around with me; I feel bad about a lot of things that I probably shouldn’t feel bad about. I say sorry for things that I can’t even help, or things that I have to do to make sure I keep my mental health in tact. 2018, I’ve decided, is going to be the year that I refuse to apologise for those things anymore. I have guilty pleasures but they will no longer be guilty.
CUTTING SHITTY PEOPLE OFF
I’m not one for burning all bridges but I’m definitely not going to hold back from distancing myself from shitty people in 2018. When people in your life are constantly negative, bringing you down and making you feel bad about what you do, they’re not your friends. They’re the opposite. Sometimes people in my life make swipes at me unnecessarily, reply with ‘that’s nice’ when I tell them my achievements and then move the conversation back around to themselves or joke around about what I do. These people don’t have a place for me in my 2018. I’ll still be civil and nice because I’m an adult and there’s no place for cattiness in my life but taking a step back, keeping some distance and not letting these kinds of people fuck me around anymore.
TAKING 10 YEARS TO REPLY TO TEXTS
90% of the time it takes me an average of 3-5 business days to get back to people if they text me – especially if they text me while I’m asleep. I used to feel so crap about what a terrible replier I was and people often give me a really hard time about it. Sometimes I don’t reply because I forget, other times I don’t reply because I’m not sure how to and I don’t want to seem rude. A lot of the time though, I’m just really busy and I forget. I have a pretty full-on life these days. I blog, I work, I study and when I’m not doing that I’m spending time with my love watching Criminal Minds and eating pizza and then I don’t wanna be sat staring at my phone. I do reply eventually which is what matters.
ENJOYING A GLASS OF WINE
I love wine and I have no shame about that. While some people say alcohol is a depressant, I’m not so sure as wine makes me super happy. My favourite is a Sauvignon Blanc and I love to sip a nice, chilled glass in the evening while relaxing on the sofa. There’s a lot of stigma about ‘drinking alone’ – especially when you’re only twenty – but I do not care. I don’t drink to excess; I’m a sensible little bean. I love having a glass of wine to unwind and that is something I refuse to apologise for in 2018. While my New Year’s resolution is to cut back on the amount of alcohol I drink, I am definitely not going to be getting rid of it forever and I definitely will not feel guilty about kicking back with a glass of Pinot when I do.
I love animals but I could never be vegan. I have no interest in pursuing a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle and cutting meat from my diet. For months this has been eating me up inside. I feel like I’m not a moral human being. But I crave steak at every opportunity. I eat cheddar cheese like it’s going out of fashion. I respect the vegan lifestyle and know and follow some wonderful vegans. I think what they’re doing is amazing but it’s jut not for me. The idea of Veganuary didn’t excite me and I didn’t even think about doing it for a hot minute. Quite often, I won’t talk about what I’m eating on my InstaStories because I don’t want to offend anyone who doesn’t eat meat but this all ends here. I’m being unapologetically me. I’m a meat and dairy lover and I’m not ashamed and not apologising.
HAVING THIS BLOG
A lot of my friends and family think it’s kind of amusing that I blog. I know they only laugh because they don’t understand but I refuse this year to let anyone make me feel bad about having this little spot on the internet. I love this blog. I love the people I’ve met from having this blog. I love the community that having this blog has provided me. I love reading comments and taking photos. I love that brands actually want to work with me and collaborate to make content that I’m really freaking proud of. I am the happiest I’ve been in years because I have a hobby that makes me grin from ear to ear when I think about it. Not to sound like, super cringe, but 2017 was the year I completely found myself and explored my passions and that’s all thanks to blogging. If I never blogged, I would never have realised how much I loved photography, pitching my ideas to brands, trying out new make-up out to review and everything else that blogging brings (but not paying invoices and scheduling tweets; that stuff sucks). If I never blogged I also wouldn’t have the best girl squad I’ve ever been a part of.
2018 is going to be my year for not giving a crap about what people think of me and only caring about what I think of me. I am never one to put myself first (blame my mother for passing on that trait to me) and always thinking of others. I’m not saying I’m suddenly becoming reckless and selfish; that’s not the case at all. I’m going to just not apologise for enjoying the things that make me happy which includes but not exclusive to steak dinners, Sauvignon Blanc and my blog.