Yeah, okay. I know it’s a marketing ploy. I know it’s slightly unnecessary. I know it’s cheesy and cringy and kind of a cliche but I like Valentine’s Day. I just do. I saw so many tweets about two weeks ago, when February hit about how Valentine’s Day is ridiculous, created by capitalism and you should tell your partner you love them everyday. And I do tell Johnny I love him everyday. I tell him probably more than once a day. But what I don’t do is get him a card everyday to tell him I love him; that would be a bit excessive, don’t you think?
Hey Valen-haters, I got news for you: literally all holidays are made-up and exploited by greeting card companies and department stores to make a profit. You probably love Christmas, despite it’s over-commercialisation, and you’re not saying “we shouldn’t celebrate Christmas – we should be giving our family gifts and eating a full roast dinner EVERY DAY”, are ya? Even though that would be amazing, it’s not practical. Just like Johnny getting me flowers or me treating him to a new bottle of whiskey every single day of the year isn’t practical. Of course we treat each other more than one day a year but it’s nice to have an excuse to do that. Valentine’s Day ain’t the only marketing ploy people celebrate, you know.
I’m really cheesy anyway – like a big, old block of mature cheddar – but Valentine’s Day gives me the perfect excuse to be eveeeen cheesier. I love gushing to Johnny about how much I love him, how handsome he is, how my life would totally and definitely suck without him. But on Valentine’s Day, I have an excuse to do those things. Society hammers into you that stuff like that is icky and gross but on Valentine’s Day, you can say all of these things, let loose and let the compliments flow out of you like love diarrhoea. Wow – that’s some imagery right there.
I also find it something to look forward to in the dreary winter. You know what January is like – long and dull. Christmas has just gone and Easter seems so far away. Life’s bleak, you’re always cold and your central heating bill is through the roof. Valentine’s Day is like a little beacon of light. It’s an excuse to go out of a meal (or order a takeaway in our case!), give someone you love a little gift and buy some lacy lingerie. It’s a little peak in an otherwise boring month. Pancake Day also provides this kind of pick-me-up too.
“But Chloe, of course you’d like it! You have a boyfriend to spend it with.” Okay, that is true. But I love Valentine’s Day before I had a hot date to spend it with – and here’s why.
Valentine’s Day 3 years ago when I was seventeen and single, I had a Gal-entine’s Day with my friends: we bought Chinese, watched the film ‘Valentine’s Day’ and just chilled out. Use Valentine’s Day to celebrate the other loves in your life – the ones that aren’t romantic. Celebrate your friendships; celebrate your family; celebrate your pets. Make something that might otherwise be a bit of a bummer for single people something really positive. Or, if that’s not for you, go out to a bar and celebrate because your odds of getting laid that night are pretty high. 99% of the people at the bar with you are going to be drunk and single. Get yours, girl.
I also love Valentine’s Day for the 15th of February. If you’re feeling down about being dateless (which you shouldn’t, by the way) get yourself down to Tesco and get yourself that discounted chocolate and half price flowers. You deserve it.
Most importantly, don’t shit on people who are in relationships who are enjoying their Valentine’s Day. Don’t tweet sassy indirects because Sally & Harry are spending their 8th Valentine’s Day together in Paris. Don’t moan that proposals on Valentine’s Day are lame because Rachel just posted a “I said yes” Instagram after Ross got down on one knee. Think that going out to dinner on Valentine’s Day is lame and resent the dreamy looking pasta carbonara Zoe put up on her story – and think it’s cringy that Alfie paid? Keep it to yourself. Don’t moan, groan and take away from people’s happiness because, okay, it might not be your thing but it is other people’s thing and being mean to others about it isn’t going to take it away.
I suppose it’s hard to preach about loving Valentine’s Day when I’m in a relationship but I get really upset when people think you can only enjoy it if you’ve got a hot date. That’s definitely not the case. If Joey Tribbiani can be without a date on Valentine’s Day – which he was in that one episode, remember? – then you can be too.