I’m not going to lie to you, February was a tough month for me – especially the first two weeks. I had an amazing January, blogging-wise. I had some amazing PR packages, invoiced for the most amount that I ever have before (it was almost as much as Johnny makes in his full-time job) and felt on top of the bloody world. I thought 2018 was going to be my year and that every month would follow suit and I’d be #ballin my way through the rest of the year. However, it didn’t really turn out the way. In the first week of February I got quite a few rejection emails, wasn’t accepted onto Look Fantastic’s Beauty Set programme, my DA went down after I’d tried so hard to get it up, a troll on Twitter called me ugly and fat, I lost 20 Instagram followers in one day and Instagram took away my highlights and ability to Instagram Live. I felt like complete and utter crap about my blog, had no motivation to do anything and wanted to cry and stay in bed for the entire day.
Everything came to a head when a PR who had been messing me about, promising campaigns and then not following through for months, sent me an email saying another campaign she’d promised me wasn’t going to happen. It sounds lame, but upon receiving that email, I burst into tears. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Blogging is hard because it’s not a constant. There’s no security that you’re going to get the same amount of sponsored ops that you did last month and so when you have a month that hasn’t been so good, it can be so disheartening. I was focusing on the negatives more than the positives. I was focusing more on what I was doing wrong than everything that had gone right for me. My friends were so supportive when I went through my rough patch at the start of the month: they kept telling me opportunities would come, that I was doing so amazing and needed to focus on all the good opportunities I did have, rather than the ones I didn’t have. And they were right. A few days of moping and not wanting to post, InstaStory or anything passed and I came out the other side feeling more motivated than I ever have before.
Blogging is hard when you treat it like a job. At my ‘normal’ job at Starbucks, my manager tells me if I’m doing a good job. At university, getting firsts on assignments shows me I’m doing a good job. With blogging, it’s up to me to tell myself I’m doing a good job. And, when I tell myself I’m doing shit, that’s when problems arise. Because even though Johnny’s there reminding me how fantastic I’m doing, and my friends Gemma, Rachael, Chloe, Emma and Paige are the best kind of cheerleaders you could ask for, you have to be in the right mindset sometimes otherwise words of encouragement can sometimes just feel like white noise. Like any job, blogging has its peaks and its troughs. You’re going to have your bad days and you’re going to have your good days. However, it’s up to you to motivate yourself through the bad days and make them good days. It’s not all plain sailing.
I am usually a really positive person – a glass half full kinda gal – which is really helpful when I’m going through these slumps. Everyone has bad days, bad weeks, bad months or even bad years (but I’ll be there for yoooou..) now and again and that is super normal. In fact, I’d be worried if you were a positive, happy person all the time. It’s about how you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and think ‘right, I’m not going to let this defeat me’ that’s really important.
It can be so bloody hard to see blogging success as anything other than brand collaborations, sponsored posts and stuff like that. But blogging success is way more than that. When Jess has just declared on Twitter she’s made a million pounds from her blog this month and Gabrielle has a Chanel bag in her P.O Box and flashed it on her Instagram Stories, it can be bloody hard to look past that and think of all the amazing things you are achieving too. So, in about the middle of February, I thought of everything amazing I do have from my blog that’s not ‘material’. I have met some amazing friends (mentioned above) from doing this and I talk to them everyday. I love writing and having somewhere to do that and people actually read it. I influence (bleugh) people to buy things and they tag me on their Instagram Stories saying I’d inspired them to get it. I get messages daily asking me for advice from people who clearly think I have it together. You just have to think about the good and the bad will just dissolve away.
It’s so normal to have down days about things you’re doing. I always feel down about certain aspects of my life; whether that be university, work, blogging, my finances – hell, sometimes I even get upset with Johnny. However, small hiccups don’t have to defeat you. February might’ve been bad for my blog in terms of collaborations and sponsored posts but that’s never why I started blogging and it sure as hell shouldn’t be the reason why I want to quit. I will still be writing on this little piece of the internet when I’m old, grey and the only brand deals I get are with TenaLady. (But, hey, TenaLady… If you’re reading and wanna sponsor me; it’s been a rough month and I’ll literally take anything I can get).
Imagine if every time you had a minor fight with your S.O you broke up. That’s what it’s like to throw all your toys out of the pram when some things to do with blogging aren’t going your way. Even if sometimes it seems like the world (ie, social media algorithms and PR companies) are against you, keep fighting back. You will come back way stronger and freaking love yourself so much more for doing so. Those euphoric weeks will be back. You just have to see that they will be and get the hell over it by not comparing yourself to someone else (you’ll always feel worse about yourself), or wishing you had someone else’s life.
My point is, motivating yourself to be your own cheerleader and keeping yourself in a good headspace is really hard and you’ll have inevitable lapses. It’s about picking yourself up after those blips, sorting yourself out and coming back with a vengeance. March, I’m coming for ya!